Sixty Seconds on Jesus and Mr Piggy

Giovanni Brusca is known as ‘the Pig’ or ‘il Porco” for his slovenly appearance and huge craving for Italian posh nosh – Lasagne, Barolo and olive oil. He once admitted to killing at least a hundred people and to top it all, he tortured and murdered an 11-year-old boy. He also detonated the huge bomb that killed anti-mafia magistrate Giovanni Falcone, his wife and three police officers in 1992. Mr Piggy is now in prison. What would you say to ‘il Porco’?

“Porco – You can’t help yourself because you are just a machine programmed to kill and torture. Tough on you fatty because free will is an illusion.”

“Mr Piggy – Tragically both you and your victims have bad karmas. Bad luck, my son.”

“Porco – All of your wicked deeds have been secretly ordained by God. In fact you are part of the divine. Well done fats!”

“Mr Piggy – Repent, resist the devil and follow Jesus, the Prince of Peace. This is the gospel of our Lord!”

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment

Simeon Stylites in 60 seconds!

Simeon Stylites was a laugh a minute. He lived 37 years on a sixty foot pillar 1400 years ago! He wanted to be spiritual and get closer to God! Unfortunately the hermit had misunderstood the message of the Bible! He believed that the earth and the body were evil and to be shunned. One day a fly landed on one of his pus-filled wounds caused by the inclement weather. He spoke to the fly thus: “Eat what God has given you.” He inspired thousands of people to follow his ‘pillar’ lifestyle. There are four ways of looking at this story.

1) Simeon! Come down from your pillar and have a beer!
2) Simeon! I so admire your authentic faith…..
3) Simeon! Too easy mate. Why not find a taller pillar and suffer a bit more?
4) Simeon! Your body is a gift from God. You are living in the wrong story. Read the book of Ephesians and find out about God’s grace.

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment

Dr Nott and the Queen

Pete Gillions told me this delightful story about Dr Nott meeting the Queeen.

For more than two decades, Dr Nott – a consultant surgeon at three major hospitals in London and a Christian – has given up several months every year to volunteer to serve in war zones amid major humanitarian crises.

He recalled meeting the Queen at a private lunch at Buckingham Palace in October 2014 a few days after returning from Alleppo in Syria. He was sat next to the Queen and she asked him about his work there. And he was so affected by what he had seen that he could not speak. He said: “I had been coping in Syria with children that were really badly damaged and she must have detected something significant.

“I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to her – I just couldn’t. I just could not say anything.

“She picked all this up and said, ‘Well, shall I help you?’ I thought, ‘How on earth can the Queen help me?’

“All of a sudden the courtiers brought the corgis and the corgis went underneath the table.”

Dr Nott said the Queen then opened a tin of biscuits and invited him to feed and stroke the dogs with her.

He added: “And so for 20 minutes during this lunch the Queen and I fed the dogs. She did it because she knew that I was so seriously traumatised. You know the humanity of what she was doing was unbelievable.” The Queen broke dog biscuits to share, and in doing so she shared a loving acceptance of his brokenness.

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment

Mafia Hitmen at Emmanuel College

I was very pleased with how the RealityBites sixth form conference went down yesterday at Emmanuel College in Gateshead. There were about 150 students from two schools present and for the first time I presented two RealityBites talks. I spoke about Celebrity Culture, Human Trafficking and Responsible Citizenship before lunch and then I delivered the Mafia, British Values and Evil talk after lunch.

I was delighted that my stories about Jimmy ‘the weasel’ Fratianno, Giovanni ‘the pig’ Brusca, Toto ‘the beast’ Riina and Frank Sinatra captivated their imaginations. They were paying close attention when I challenged them to tell me how much a Mafia hitman charged for a murder in 2014 (£17,500). It was even better when they listened very attentively to my outline of five ways of looking at evil and suffering:

1) Evil is caused by bad karma
2) Evil is an illusion because nothing exists
3) Evil doesn’t exist because everything is just physical
4) Evil has to exist because it comes from God
5) Evil is caused by human and angelic rebellion against God

In my talk I mentioned Glenn Hoddle , The Tibetan Book of the Dead, Richard Dawkins, Plotinus and CS Lewis. The questions they asked were fabulous and showed clearly how closely they had been listening.

I was particularly chuffed when one girl asked me how I understood evil. I was able to say quite a lot about the New Testament and Jesus. I even mentioned the devil and how this relates to bombers, terrorists and Mafia hitmen.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me yesterday!

Posted in Events | Tagged | Leave a comment

Flies, bluebottles and Jesus

Have you ever thought about flies? They can ruin a picknick without trying very hard. Ponder how different religions and philosophies look at these irritating insects. The Egyptians worshipped them as gods. Plato said flies are just prisons for badly behaved souls? Materialists contend that flies are just items for sale? (£1 per item) Do you know what Scripture tells us about them? The book of Colossians tells us that bluebottles were made by and for Jesus? Jesus is Lord of all….even bluebottles.

Posted in Worldviews | Tagged | Leave a comment

Buried Alive for 147 day! His mum, Emma inspired him!

In 1998 Geoff Smith spent 147 days buried in a coffin six feet under a pub garden in Mansfield reclaiming a world record set by his mother, Emma, thirty years earlier. Food, water and human waste were transported through a plastic tube! There are three ways of looking at this story.

1) “Geoff – you are a nutter. You could have supped foaming pints of real ale in the pub garden like any normal person. Don’t bury yourself alive.”
2) “Geoff – You are an incredible bloke. You have been true to yourself. Burying yourself alive rocks! Your mum would be so proud of you.”
3) “Geoff – There is absolutely no point burying yourself alive in a pub garden setting. Jesus died, was buried and came back from the grave after three days. Focus on that good news and not on getting your name into the Guinness book of records.”

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment

Glenn Hoddle Story – Karma or Grace?

The Story

Glenn Hoddle was born in the suburbs of London in 1957. He became one of the most exciting and gifted footballers ever to play for England. In 1998 he was sacked from his job as the manager of the England team because of the following comments he made in an interview –

“You have to come back to learn and face some of the things you have done, good and bad. You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. I have nothing to hide about that. It is not only people with disabilities. What you sow, you have to reap.”

In Italy, Rome’s La Republica, below the headline, “Sacked Because of Karma,” suggested that Hoddle may be the first man of the modern age to lose his job for his religious beliefs. Can you imagine a manager being sacked for being an atheist?

The Worldview

A woman living in India was asked why she wouldn’t take her baby son to the doctor. He was very ill. She replied that the illness was part of the boy’s karma and he was being punished for something he had done in a previous life. She asserted that it was the boy’s fate to suffer! Many Hindus and Buddhists believe in reincarnation and karma. When people suffer in this life they are being punished for deeds they have performed in previous lives.

Creative Evangelistic Spiel

“With karma you always get what you deserve, reincarnation in a rat, a shrimp or a deaf person. With Jesus you get what you don’t deserve: God’s love, the forgiveness of your sins and eternal life.”

There are Four way of Looking at this Story!

When you die you rot! (Materialist view)

When you die you get the afterlife you want (Relativist view)

When you die you come back disabled if you have bad karma.
(Hoddle’s view)

When you die you are waiting for the resurrection if you love and follow Jesus. Jesus’ view (Study John 6:35-59)

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment

Agnostic? I don’t think so!

Is it possible to be an agnostic? Many would say yes! I say – no!

The idea of being an agnostic goes completely against the idea of ‘worldview’. Worldviews are not intellectual ideas. Worldviews are the ‘Big Stories’ that can mug us and captivate our lives and imaginations. These stories are often invisible and under the surface. You have to dig them out. It’s hard work! We are talking about the deep, spiritual commitments that drive our lives.

Now the agnostic believes that he or she can simply ignore all this. She can sit on the fence. She can be the detached observer of worldviews without having a worldview herself!

This is very misleading. The agnostic has to live in a particular way. The agnostic has to live in a story. By being born we enter a world of choices and decisions. Show me a self-proclaimed agnostic and her bank statement will tell me what she is hiding. The way we make and use our moolah betrays the Story that we trust in. Those who call themselves agnostics are often materialist believers who live in the western story. Often they are blissfully unaware that they are living in a story.

Today we must challenge the epithet ‘agnostic’. It is dangerously misleading and spiritually bankrupt.

Posted in Worldviews | Tagged | Leave a comment

Twenty false gods/idols invite you to follow them!

1) Follow me Sobek, the crocodile god. I am a fertility god and far more powerful than Heqet, the ugly frog god. I am virile beyond belief…
2) Follow me Baal! I am a Canaanite fertility god and I promise to bless your harvests if you will only give me your children…
3) Follow me Artemis, the goddess of hunting. I love my gladiator servants who kill wild animals in the Colisseum. I sponsor temple prostitutes and a tidy silver shrine business.
4) Follow me Sulis-Minerva – Curse your enemies with my magical, supernatural power. That man who stole your toga is toast!
5) Follow the stars and fate – we can tell you exactly what is fated for you – so relax, sit back and endure the journey. If you are a child abuser like Tiberius…don’t worry – you can’t help it.
6) Follow me the divine Number 10. I am the never-swerving, the never-tiring holy ten, the keyholder of all.
7) Follow me the god of sensual pleasure. Let us eat, drink and be merry. Focus please on wine, courtesans and orgies. (Aristippus)
8) Follow me the tranquillity god. I will give you inner peace as you relax in your garden and make friends (Epicurus)
9) Follow me the god reason. Think pure thoughts and enslave thick people (Aristotle)
10) Follow me the pantheist god reason and endure your fate Stiff upper lip old boy! (Marcus Aurelius)
11) Follow the gods of technology and the internet and there will be an end to hunger, disease, poverty, war and ignorance. (Byron Reese)
12) Follow the poetry gods. Be unique. Dare to be who you want to be. Let no-one challenge your autonomy.
13) Follow Pompey, the football god I will ruin your marriage, family and finances but trust in me! (John Westwood)
14) Follow the scientific materialist way of life. Behold you are a computer made of meat. You are a machine with no intrinsic value.
15) Follow me the money god. I will show you how to garner a great fortune. You will exhaust yourself in making the filthy lucre and then die in a mansion with no friends.
16) Follow your heart and become who you want to be. Trust in your instincts and follow your sacred dreams.
17) Follow Krishna. Forsake the world and live on your own in the temple. Your wife and kids will look after you as you seek enlightenment. Forget them and follow me.
18) Follow the way of the Bardo and find release from karma and reincarnation. (Tibetan Book of the Dead)
19) Follow me the god of Christian Science. My name is Mary Baker Eddy and I have spent many hours contacting dead people and they have told me the truth. There is no sickness and evil. It’s all an illusion. Trust me and my special teachings!
20) Follow me Seth, the spirit guide. You, the worshipper, are ignorant of your deity. It is foolish to repent of your sins. Sin and evil are illusions.

Posted in Ideas, Worldviews | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hendrik Witbooi – Inspiring Soldier

Theme

In his famous sermon on the mount, Jesus calls his disciples to live in a radically new way. He challenges all his followers to love their enemies. This can be very difficult for sinful human beings who are prone to hatred, idolatry and evil thoughts. Hendrik Witbooi was a black African general who loved his enemies. He treated his German enemies with amazing mercy when they were destroying Hendrik’s tribe. He loved his enemies in a war zone.

Scripture

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be sons of your father in heaven. Matthew 5:44

Story

Hendrik Witbooi was a king of the Nama people and he lived in the part of Africa we now call Namibia. His face is portrayed on the obverse of all Namibian dollar banknotes. He served God as a general of the Nama army when his tribe was attacked by the German army.

In the war (1904-1905) Hendrik went to extraordinary lengths to ensure the safety of German non-combatants, women and children. This deeply Christian man made sure that ‘enemy’ civilians were completely unharmed. His soldiers escorted German women, children and farmers back to the German lines. He treated his prisoners with the utmost respect because he believed that all people are created in the image and likeness of God.

His behaviour in the war can be contrasted with the German General Lothar von Trotha (1848-1920) who defeated the Herero (another African tribe)
army at the battle of Waterburg. Callously von Trotha drove the Hereros into the desert of Omahake where many of the Herero combatants died of thirst.

The German soldiers were ordered to poison all the water-holes in the region and they were ordered to take no prisoners and to do nothing for the remaining women and children. Many of them were either shot or abandoned in the desert. The Herero population, which in 1904 had numbered about 80,000 people, had been reduced to fewer than 20,000 one year later. Von Trotha referred to the Nama and Hereros tribes as ‘cattle’ or ‘stock’! He ordered his soldiers to kill ‘enemy’ women and children. Many of the Nama tribe were also slaughtered by the German army.

Again it is very instructive to compare and contrast two soldiers. The black, African general Hendrik Witbooi followed the Lord Jesus and the white, German general Von Trotha did not.

Posted in Stories | Tagged | Leave a comment